Self-anatomy.

It's not like I really care;
heavens, everyone knows who I really care for.

But I cannot explain how this crush came to be.
I cannot explain how it grew into infatuation.
I cannot explain it grew into fire;
a flame which I know very well will only burn my fingers in the end.
I cannot explain why I am still reaching out to touch this little wick of unwanted pain.
I cannot explain why pain look so tempting.
I cannot explain why though my heart tugs at my every little move
I only seem to move closer and closer to my little fire.

I cannot explain why my heart starts to fear that I will be consumed by this little fire.
I cannot explain why I instinctly drew my hand back;
though my heart is slower to react.

I cannot explain why it's hard to give up.
I cannot explain why it's so hard to give up something I have never owned before.
I cannot explain why my heart is hesitating to let go
of something that seems impossible.

I cannot explain myself.
And I hate what I cannot explain.